there's a journalist in my head who is ruining my poems.

there's a journalist 
in my head 
who is ruining my poems. 
the guy is a perfectionist,
a cynic, 
a “social butterfly". 
i like the guy, but i can't publish a poem 
or a book of poems,
an anthology, if i may.

i'm deep 
i want to be vulnerable. 
i like money 
i want to make sales.
but this guy apparently has 
a reputation 
to protect.
i tried sneaking into the articles he writes, 
but he held me by the back of my pants 
and kicked me out 
like a cat. 
who put a journalist 
and a poet 
in the same head?

there's a journalist 
in my head 
who is ruining my poems. 
he wants the lines 
to read Harvard English. 
i just want to tell the truth; 
dump my frustration and delight 
somewhere. 
i want to write lines 
showing the reader 
who I am 
without 
PEERING into the dictionary 
for a different word. 
i want to write a verse about the charming evening 
sun
stroking his moustache
with a pipe between his lips,
without being told it's foolish.

he's an overthinker.
a workaholic. 
i guess he's the way he is
'cause he pays our rent
and buys our fits. 
suits and ties and official shoes.
he likes following rules. 
i don’t.
so i sneer 
at tucking-in the shirt.
i have to crawl out of bed 
to feed his social life.
but I don’t have fun or scoop drinks as he does.
when we're out 
i look for poems, 
seeking to answer questions like, 
"what is the meaning of life? 
is it special occasions, 
fine din­e,
spark­ling wine? 
or a family around a fire?
with tea 
and friendly satire?" 
but for him 
he looks for stories. 
stories, he’ll discard later. 
but that’s him 
always finding the wrong 
in things. 

there's a journalist 
in my head 
who is ruining my poems. 
it's been years now 
so i've learnt 
to live with him. 
and don't be the fool 
at home 
he's messy 
and not as cool. 
he pays the rent, 
fills the room 
with papers and books.
we'll probably write
something together 
and publish. 
i'll empty my emotions 
and let him polish. 

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